I have a life

I am very annoyed.
I am tired of being in this cycle!
Sometimes it takes so damn long to get over.
But i am not 'emo.'
I am ok.
I just want to complain, it'd be ok soon.
Today- I went to work late because i stayed up to play sims on iphone. Pretty stupid right?
But it makes me feel happy.
Cos I feel like i am controlling someones' life.
It feels good.
And when i woke up in the morning, i went for breakfast and came to work.
I felt like I have gotten over some things though.
1.Like my annoying mum and aunt, who nags all the time.
they are forever naggy and annoying,but they love me.
2.My 'no friend' syndrome, which happens every mon-wed.
3.My sian 1/2 dont feel like working syndrome.
4.my lack of a goal syndrome.
etc.
It all happened after i went to get baptized.
Perhaps it just doesnt seem so important to be someone i wanted to be after the baptism.
and all this issues, it have been addressed and its on its way to be cleared.
for e.g.,sun-thur, or sun-wed morbid days became mon-wed.
Seriously, only when you have been in pain, complain you are in pain, and gotten over pain you'd realize how precious your life is to God.
I cant really explain.
It has been a tough battle, but i keep winning.
This is really life, compared to then when i had to lie to myself everything is fine when its not.
I have a spirit.
And a life.
Its there and finally there.
I dont know if you all can understand , if dont know come ask me!
Especially when you know that everything is just temporary, for a good reason and purpose, to bless someone, for a change, etc.
Its no longer about happiness, or anything.
I just want to Lead my life .
Thats all.
I hope you guys understand.