I wonder if normal=happy, happy=normal?
I dont really like the feeling where by i have to depend on company to be happy anymore.
Actually i just got home and feel very lazy to blog, but i felt that i wont only blog when i am sad.
When i am unhappy, i give thanks.
When i am happy, i give thanks also.
But this time round, i don't really know if 'i want to give thanks.'
I just dislike the feeling of relying on these external companionship to be happy.
After seeing the 'worse', and realizing that:
1. Friends are not 'reliable', they can come and go anytime.
2.You cannot depend on them to be happy, only God.
3.Things are always changing, no point dwelling and letting satan attack and ruin your life.
4.Prayers are really very very important.
5.Prayers can change a person's life, like immediately.
6.God really works in his own mysterious and amazing ways.
7.Relationships will only work with God around.
8.You only understand sweetness after bitterness.
Anw, I will share with you guys some of my outings.
Mon-I met candice for dinner, and went out with sf and etc for his birthday, den went yao's house for mahjong, which i went home early.
Wed-I went club for sf's actual birthday.
I was high after about 8 cups of vodka, half filled, and sf had to look after me from 3+am onwards.
Oh and yeap i do need to wear specs sometimes.Recently i have blur visions again.
When we got out of club, I couldnt walk straight.
Rest assured that i dont go often!
Today, i took leave as i was tired from yesterday night.
The whole morning, i had non stop naggings from my auntie.
"You are so irresponsible and lazy. If you dont work for your uncle you'd get sacked."
She was so annoying, I had a hard time trying to sleep and i know that if i argue with her, it'd be worse, so i kept quiet and just slept.
All the way from 9am-11am she nagged and nagged, didnt give me any peace.
When i woke up at 11am to bring Muffin to the vet, she stopped the nagging.
Muffin had diarrhea and she vommitted twice today.
And after lunch, we brought muffin back home and I felt very peaceful.
It was a nice afternoon and somehow,
i received this conviction that I really should stop relying on my friends for happiness,
and i prayed about it.
Hence having this conviction to type out the this entry.
After watching vcds and making earrings, i went to sleep.
And i was woken up by my aunt's constant nagging again.
About my jeans left on the ironing board.
She was so annoying that i decided to leave my house earlier to meet Serene,
but while i was about to walk out, it suddenly came to me that if i just give in to her , things will become better.
Cos shes 50 and I am 23, I can't expect her to change anymore.
And shes often very unhappy with her life, I figured that probably I could be the one who can bring her some comfort, and bring her to christ one day.
So i just answered her nicely and cleared my stuff before leaving the house.
She reacted nicely to me too.
This is the start of my blue print.
You know, i start realizing that i am very suitable to be a christian.
I will continue updating my my happiness and my problems here.
However, like what i said, i really don't want to be too happy anymore.
I will just balance things out from now on.
Cannot be too happy, unless its from god.
Cannot be too sad , unless i know it'd help me.
Kinda like be very normal and less reactive when any problem arises.
If not Satan will keep finding a lot of ways to attack me.
I also feel very confused as to what kinda things i can be happy about,
I also feel very confused as to whether i should be happy when good things happen,
as it'd be like i am very ungrateful or like still very worldly, you know what i mean?
I will pray about it.
And seriously, thank you guys, i am sure you guys kept me in prayers very reverently.
Cos i really feel this huge stone lifted from my heart and it feels better now.
Thank you all of you!
Pray for me alright?
See you all on sunday/friday. :)
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