Lets ignore S

Recently I have been coming home very late.
Yesterday i came home at 1230, the day before 130, and the previous 12am.
Everytime i walk home at night, i would feel like SUPER EXHAUSTED,
Mentally and physically because I am so tired from all the unhappiness and attacks i get even though i am outside.
Forgive me, I'm on recovery stage.
However, when i was out with my friend -which have known me since i am 13, I had many realizations.
The last time she mentioned this :"You're easy going and crazy."
I believe that is her impression of me when i was 13-16, which was the years that i was happy.
we lost contact from 16-22, hence i can def say that she is refering to when i was that age.
Anw, she is still as crazy as ever, and happy, or at least had the 'basic happiness'.
But when we joked and all, I feel that i dont feel her happiness, her enthusiasm,
I felt like a middle aged person.
But i don't know if its her type of jokes or just that i can be a bit solemn at times.
However,
it just suddenly felt that I have been wasting me last 6 years because of Satan,
and I really need a major revamp.
I can say this is from god.
Revamp my Life.
Every aspect.
I felt kinda happy to be in contact with this friend again,
her character can be of good training to me because:
1.She can be very mean with her words, but only to an extent
2.She is very happy and noisy, she can bring sunshine to my greyish life to a certain extent
3.She knows me for so long, we share a bond , and it makes me recall back abt those days when i am close to her because i am like her and i would want to be like her to retain the bond.
4. and so on.

I think its me who have always been choosing my friends , till the extent that now they have kinda 'ignored' me.
And now when i have close friends in my life,
regardless of anything,
it'd definately be a good thing cos its frm god and i can rely on him for help.
I think we should IGNORE SATAN.
For as long as possible!
When i realize that Satan had made me such a different person now, which god allowed to because he wants me to turn to him,
I really feel this need to change myself and to suck the poision out.
Small things that i've done-
1.I was very nice to my mum the whole morning although she kept rushing me and aaying nasty things.
2.I did not feel very terrible even though there were small attacks.
3.I rushed out to buy lunch for my dog although I am very tired, and the sun is scorching.

And so on later.
Another thing that I'm gona do is to sign up for classes in March .
Yesterday, after hearing what pastor said,
I felt that there isn't a need for me to be like very intelligent or successful anymore.
And after that i felt liberated.
I know every type of people have their own set of problems,
and for now, honestly i do feel that I am abit 'unfortunate' sometimes,
but I dont see how can i be happier without God.
and how different things would be without God.
I would have ended up turning to that fortune teller for help.
Looking back i realize i have been so silly.

Oh and i would like to say that I am so tired of being unhappy,
and tired with all those thoughts in my mind that i decided to GET RID OF ALL UNWANTED THOUGHTS .
Just filter off everything whenever it comes to my mind.With prayers of course.
The 3 time a day Prayer really works though,
but now it must come with a little bit more effort,
and soon I can eradicate this entire 'unhappy' thing out of my mind and life.
I have always been a happy girl, surrounded by many friends and people who love me.
its time to change myself to enjoy these blessings given by god.
:)
:)

I will be a changed person i promise.
SOON.

P.s I saw Eddie tan with his Gf, he looked so scared . Haha. FUCK HIM.Gay Shit.