The past week, things have been very good.
Because of that,I feel that i have 'drifted' away from God,but i want to remain 'happy'.
This is my problem now.
However, i also want to be close to God when i am happy.
How?How long more can it take to acheive both :(
Its now quite difficult to define happy.
Or maybe contentment.I want to have my friends,but i also want to be close to god.This is true.VERY TRUE, in fact.
God really knows humans, or rather me very well.
If i have a lot of attention from my loved ones, and i get a bf and so on,I'll turn my attention away from him.Satan is smart.
Everything seems perfect now,but i know that without God, anything bad can happen anytime.
God loves me.
And he wants to let me see the Jingwen when she is 'contented.'
I pray still, but its not like previously.
I don't know what to pray to him,this is probably satan's plan too.
He wants me to feel that i have nothing to pray about so don't pray.
The truth is,things only look ok.
And seem ok.But it doesnt mean its my eternal happiness.
These are the changeable things.
The things that are not fixed.I can ask God for anything and pray to him about everything.He will answer me in time to come.
Its quite important to realize that when nothing to pray, also must dig things to pray.If not we'll stray....Thats what i feel.I am not happy still.
Another thing which i realize.Things go well, i feel that it might leave, feel very afraid.Things never go well, feel miserable.
Must find that balance.Things go well or not, both also good.Never go well can talk to God and experience God more.
Things go well don't know what to pray, become very stagnant.
So things go well is it good and never go well is bad?
Very hard to tell .Guess ultimate aim is to have fixed perspective, which is probably the hardest of all.
Will blog a full entry on all my bday celebrations soon!
HEY!! HAppy Birthday!! I missed it, I'm so sorry! But better late than never, right?
ReplyDeleteOne note on your post today: Even if things all go "well"...your happiness is not true happiness. It's just a reaction to the smooth circumstances. Pretty soon, you'll be too comfortable, and get "bored"...and feel like something is missing. See, us humans can never be satisfied. True satisfaction comes only from God, just as Jesus said, "I give you living water, when you drink it, you will never be thirsty again." something like that, I can't quote direct, I'm not a bible-nerd...yet. haha!
Anyway. My point is: True happiness only comes from God, and any other form of happiness, away from Him, is an illusion. And as you said, you still feel insecure when things all go "right"...is that real peace? no, it isn't.
So don't neglect your spiritual life too, Ah Boon, ok? :-) We humans need food in all forms: physical, mental, spirtual! :-)
Oh, and help me eat a otah-otah...I really miss it, man! And Mee Rebus...and that Japanese omelet....and carrot cake...and Jollibean pancake...
ARRRGH!
Thank you ah phia! Hhaha. Yup thats why i feel insecure. cos i know it'd be gone soon! And its up to me to deal with all the problems with the help of god. And of course prayers from all of you. :) aNW, I am gonna eat carl's Junior later haha. Something probably stupid in your country. LOL. so any news of you coming over in June?
ReplyDeleteAiyah, you're so annoying, replying to me on your own blog. How would I know that you replied? Idiot lah! lol.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if I'm coming over yet. If I do come over it's gonna be in May, silly. But you're saving up right now to come to the U.S, right?
Carl's Jr? I have one in my school campus. I like their teriyaki burger! I didn't know Singapore has Carl's Jr.
I dont know if i am coming..cos i dont know when you are coming hahaha. I dont wanna rpely in your blog cos its difficult to go your website since so many is visiting..LOL. carl's junior is nice! very big portion!
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