This week, things became different.
It changed last friday, when i told myself that no matter what happens,God loves me.
Because he has his underlying and beautiful plans made for me.
It happened last sat, when after a nice afternoon after i met Nic.
He was someone that i use to like during much younger days.
I was surprised that I dont like him anymore,
but the nice feeling still retains.
The sort of feeling that tells me that this friend have always been real and nice,
just that he doesnt know how to show.
And yeap he had been nice to me when we were close in the past.
He is just the sort that i can be friends with or like.
And it kinda made me feel that all these while, God have always been looking after me and making sure that i didnt fall for the wrong guy. Why did i say that? Come ask me. Haha long story.
And after the meet up with him, We bumped into Sf at 313.
And while we were talking, he told me again about her,
and how shes becoming negative and so on.
Sometimes you dont have to do anything. What kind of person you are, it will show.
And the feeling is nice now, because we both are not happy with her, but we didn't take it in immature ways and form 'groups' , but whereas we grew closer as friends and got to know eachother like never before.
We said we will not talk about her or them again.
And we've been trying.
:)
We are not like them.
And after that, when i got home ,
she called me, and asked me to go supper.
Another she wanted to pass me present.
Another she whatsapp me.
Call me sensitive,
but i feel that their/her guilt conscience is eating her up,
slowly chomping its way up through her intestines and then to her heart.
No matter how bad a friend is,
how irritating/immature/annoying/stupid/etc a friend is,
u know that he/she wont like it when hear abt you backstabbing her,
u know that she will consider the fact of not being your friend when she hears it.
u know that she will treat u differently after she hears it.
Because she still regard me as her friend, it will make you guilty.
And i am glad she still feels guilty.
I really have nothing to say.
It feels like if i hate her, i am immature, if i am ok with her, i feel very weird.
So the best thing to do, is still to avoid.
And i am ok with it because i know this is part of his Mei3 Yi4.
And through this platform, i saw how much god loves me, and how he can change my life with just prayers.
So i wont consider this as something bad anymore.

And after all these, things just become peaceful and quiet.
No more 'divine discontentment'.
But more like divine peace and hope.
It feels weird, its like i feel peaceful when there are problems that i can solve with prayers.
And when things go well, i dont feel that kind of peace.
After sometime, a lot of things really dont matter anymore.
And anything that happens just wont make me very happy/unhappy anymore.
Until the day i find my true bliss.
My beloved and so on.
Then it'd be perfect haha.

Oh and yes, the korean trip with sophia is making us both so stressed.
Because my mom doesnt like me to take a plane alone as i am super blur and disorienated,
pray for us!
And i do feel a little scared that i am taking plane on my own haha.
Pray for me !
And pray that our trip there will be good. :)